Accepting Loss...

It has been eight days since I began writing this segment of our journey...  Maybe I am trying too hard to explain how God never leaves us during disappointments, heartache and difficulties in our lives.  However, today, during our Bible study on Psalm 23, the "light bulb" came on and the explanation became clear.  As believers, our walk through valleys is a means by which we head to higher ground.  It is in the hard times we are taught the riches of God's grace, the abundance of His provision and the enormous peace only He can give us when we think our world is falling apart.  He is there to provide for us and teach us more about Him than we could have ever known under different circumstances.  

After Abigail and Honor came into our lives, we said goodbye to our next three babies.  Sally was the first, the second left a few months later and the last baby we lost was a little girl, too.  Miscarriage is such a silent affair for so many women.  It is a loss very hard to endure, leaving many questions.  However, as David and I walked that path three times, we found amazing peace and hope that God never left us for one minute.  To be able to go home only to find Abi and Honor awaiting our arrival gave our hearts joy.  Amazingly, during that time of great loss, I was approached by numerous women who had experienced miscarriages in their life and had a desire to talk about their losses too.  Not only was I ministered to, I had a chance to be a listening ear to many who had never talked about their loss before.  There were thirteen women in all that God sent our way to help us through each loss.  Looking back now, we see our experience as one of the ways God has lead us to where we are today...

Our first contact with Christian World Adoption was right after we lost "Sally" in September of 2006.  I expressed interest in adoption and received the promotional video and initial packet.  At this point, however, we continued to hold out hope that we would be able to biologically have our own child.  In March of this year, after two and a half years of prayer and contemplation, David said to me as we sat in McAllister's Deli, "Let's do this, Julie.  We're not getting any younger!"  Knowing David was completely on board and excited made the next move easy.  We began the journey to our son, the little boy God had chosen for us before time began...